Russian to share some country puns with you

Продолжаем тему о каламбурах. В предыдущем посте рассматривались puns, связанные с именами композиторов, а в этом рассмотрим puns, основанные на названиях стран и городов. Их в английском языке, кажется, намного больше.

Вот, к примеру, такой диалог (скетч из какого-то шоу):

Kids: US Hungary (us hungry)
Dad: Kuwait?! (could you wait!?)
Kids: Norway! US Hungary! (no way! us hungry!)
Kids: Bangladesh! (bang the dishes)
Dad: Canada Turkey Greece? (can of the turkey grease)
Kids: Oman, Norway! (oh man, no way!)
Dad: Panama Chile. (pan of my chili)
Kids: Yemen! (yeah man!)

Из комментов на Фейсбуке:

Идём дальше. Такой вот рассказик:

I had Togo to work and it was very Chile outside. So I grab some coffee and Sweden it with a Cuba sugar. On the way to work, Iran into my friend Chad. He said 'Hey', and I said 'Yemen'.

'Iraq', he proclaimed.

'Yeah, well, Uruguay!', I replied back to him.

'Oman', he muttured 'Jamaican me real angry!', he yelled.

He pushed me, and my coffee spilled all over my Thai.

'What have you done!', I screamed, 'Look at all Denmarks on my Thai'.

'Kenya buy me another coffee?' I asked.

'Norway, man!' he said, 'I don't have any money.'

'Could you at least Czech?' I pleaded.

'Sorry, I Laos all my money in a gambling stint'.

'Fine, but next time I see you, I expect a Brazillion dollars!'

'All this talk about coffee is making me Hungary', he sighed 'Austria later...'

I had to go to work and it was very chilly outside. So I grab some coffee and sweeten it with a cube of sugar. On the way to work, I ran into my friend Chad. He said 'Hey', and I said 'Yeah, man'.
'I rock', he proclaimed.
'Yeah, well, you are gay!', I replied back to him.
'Oh, man', he muttured 'You are making me real angry!', he yelled.
He pushed me, and my coffee spilled all over my thigh.
'What have you done!', I screamed, 'Look at all damn marks on my thigh'.
'Can you buy me another coffee?' I asked.
'No way, man!' he said, 'I don't have any money.'
'Could you at least check?' I pleaded.
'Sorry, I lost all my money in a gambling stint'.
'Fine, but next time I see you, I expect a billion dollars!'
'All this talk about coffee is making me hungry', he sighed 'I see you later...'

Ещё примеры или Samoa examples:

1. I'll drive a Honduras long as they keep making Civics.
2. Lily had a bowl of Syria for breakfast.
3. Take off one Bhutan one sock at a time.
4. Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.
5. Mmm, this is good! Can I have Samoa?
6. Do Ukraine your neck to see over the dashboard?
7. I'm not sure if it Israel or fake.
8. She sells Seychelles by the seashore.
9. If you said you were from South America, I would not Bolivia.
10. Whenever we play pool, Iraq and Joe breaks first.
11. She's bi, she's dating a Guyana girl.
12. A sick diva will Singapore tune.
13. Would you rather hear Morocco more rap music?
14. On Seinfeld, Elaine made a Christmas card which showed her Nepal.
15. Babe, I'm Ghana Leave You
16. Don't make any Sudan movements.
17. She Qatar finger with a knife.
18. She put on a gween top and a Paraguay pants
19. He's bacteria free, doesn't have that Germany more.
20. The Irish should be rich because their capital is always Dublin.
21. In a Scandinavian race the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.
22. Did you know that donuts were first made in Greece?
23. If your need to go to the washroom, you're Russian. Once you get there, European. When you're done, you're Finnish.

1. Honda as
2. cereal
3. boot and
4. having
5. some more
6. you crane
7. is real
8. sea shells
9. believe you
10. I rack
11. guy and
12. sing a poor
13. more rock or
14. nipple
15. gonna
16. sudden
17. cut her
18. pair of
19. germ any
20 doubling
21. finish
22. grease
23. rushing, are peeing, finished

Понять игру слов порой не так-то просто. Например, если вообще не знаешь такой страны, как Hungary. Как эта девушка, например:

И напоследок ещё puns, основанные не конкретно на названиях стран, но на каких-то с этими странами ассоциациях и т.п.:

1. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
2. It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
3. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
4. England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
5. Show me someone in denial and I'll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.
6. I used to like Russian dolls until I realised they were full of themselves!
7. I would like to go to Holland one day, wooden shoe?.
8. Goats in France are musical because they have french horns.
9. There is some Confucion about the oldest religion in China.
10. Britain is a wet place since the queen has had a long reign.
11. A practical Czech is considered to be Praguematic.
12. Things made in Australia are high koala-ty.
13. Television sets in Britain have to cross the English Channel.
14. People in Switzerland can't learn to ski without a lot of alp.
15. When Mongolians walk they like to take big steppes.
16. 'Should we watch the Swiss?'. 'Of quartz we should.'